Rape is a serious crime under our criminal jurisprudence. When a woman is raped, it affects her psychological state of mind, and the wounds that result from the act do last for a very long period of time. Some women eventually get healed while others do not.
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No sane human being supports rape except he is a professional rapist.
Some days back, the social media was dominated with the story of Timi Dakolo’s wife, Busola Dakolo alleging that she was raped by the COZA lead-pastor, Biodun Fatoyingbo. This led to mix reactions. I was among those who commented on the report and gave my opinion about the matter. Unfortunately, some of my facebook friends, who perhaps misunderstood my point of view, attacked me for my firm stance on the matter despite the fact that I didn’t take any side.
I will try to make some points clearer, and as well highlight some conclusions about this worrisome matter.
WHEN WAS THE RIGHT TIME TO SPEAK?
Women are inarguably the major victims of rape cases. That is why they are so full of emotions each time they talk about it. No one loves to be s*xed without his or her consent. When s*x is perfected without consent or when it is gotten fraudulently, it leaves the party in a state of falsehood, pain and frustration. I am fully aware of the aftermath.
But when really is the right time to speak when one is raped or faced with an attempted rape? The answer is: IN THE HEAT OF THE PASSION.
By this I mean that when the incident is still very fresh. I have heard cases of women being raped, not once or twice; but they keep quiet about it while dying in silence. To some, no one will believe them so the best thing to do is to keep quiet. Some also say that the reason why they keep quiet is because they were threatened.
Truly, some were threatened — not all were. Unfortunately, even some who were not threatened keep quiet because of some reasons best known to them. How important is your dignity? If you know and understand how important your dignity as a woman is to you and the damage the memory will cause to your person, you will then understand why it is very imperative to speak out. Victims do themselves no good by keeping quiet. Just as the case of Dakolo’s wife, for many years, she said nothing and boom, one day, she came out open to the public to say she was raped. The question is: why keep quiet all these years if you are bold even to tell the whole public today? Is her husband aware of it? If yes, what was his take about it? To me, the story though may have drawn the attention of many, was the least unexpected at this time because she only succeeded in embarrassing herself, the COZA pastor and her husband.
WHAT TO DO WHEN ASSAULTED OR RAPED?
God forbid that any female becomes a victim of rape, but if anything close to that ever happens, then report the matter to the nearest police station. First, make sure you get witnesses involved. Tell someone, maybe a mother, father, brother or sister or any other person you can confine in. Even if it was an attempted rape case, report the matter. In the case of a person that was raped, a medical report will go a long way to prove penetration. The problem with keeping the story for so long to oneself and vomiting it later as in the instant case is that, the victim will find it difficult proving penetration.
BENEFITS OF SPEAKING OUT EARLY:
There are many Human Right agencies out there. We have the National Human Rights Commission, FIDA, and other NGOs who are eager to handle such cases. Approach any of them and you will get answers, that is if you think the police may not help matters easily.
When you speak out:
1. It will kickstart investigation and preserve enough evidence.
2. If the criminal is judged guilty, it gives the victims some form of psychological healing.
3. It serves as deterrence to others.
Let no one say that the COURT doesn’t work. There are many cases of rape handled by the courts daily and judgements are given almost every year with people being convinced.
AM I IN SUPPORT OF THE SUPOSSED SUSPECT?
Of course not. I have not even met the COZA pastor ever in my life. But I am a christian and a lawyer. I am not in support of any evil, whether done by someone in the name of the church or not. Evil is Evil. I may not share the same doctrinal beliefs with the said pastor but I have a duty to protect rights — whether it is that of a native doctor or a wizard. It may equally be true that he indeed did what he was accused of, the material and legal truth is that, ”Audi Altarem Patem.” He has the right to fair hearing. It will be wrong for me or anyone to crucify him simply because an allegation was laid on his head. No, it is not enough to draw conclusion simply because it the allegation was made by a wife who perhaps may stand to gain nothing from such. The man is presumed innocent until proven otherwise. Anyone who gives any form of verdict without hearing from the other party, firmly, is just like every other person out there who believes in jungle justice.
If Dakolo’s wife thinks she is right, let her go to court, but she should be ready to face a defamation suit from the pastor if it arises. The reason is because she failed to speak when she ought to. Maybe true, she may most likely fail and if this happens, the citizens will fault the court system as usual, not minding the fact that the citizens also failed in their responsibly.
Whether you believe any of the parties is immaterial. Staging a protest is also immaterial for now. This battle did not start just yesterday. Many have dedicated their whole lives to this quest long before now.
The fact is that rape affects both male and female because when a woman is raped, it is the mother, wife or sister of a man that may be the victim.
As a man it also hurts to grow with such a memory; that is, the memory of the fact that one is a product of rape, or that one’s beloved sister or wife was raped. It affects the men- victims too as much as it affects the primary victim.
Based on the lessons learnt, what activists are to do is to focus their attention on triggering the boldness and encouraging victims to speak out as early as possible.
They should also channel their energy into educating the girl child on how well to dress decent — not exposing sensitive parts of their body (This is not to justify rape); female advocates should cease to patronize pornography in any guise, and they should discourage it; NGOs and other Women Right Activists should also work hard to checkmate the kind of musics produced in our nation where ladies dress almost half-naked or even naked; advocates should teach the young females how to avoid unusual visitation to the opposite sex, and be sensitive to unusual behaviours, etc. All these contribute to the cause. Remember, some of the victims are precipative-crime-victims while others are not. This is evident under the study of Victimology taken a criminological approach into consideration.
It is unwise to keep a rape incident a secret only to expose it in an interview years after. It is not the best way to get justice.
#SPEAK OUT. There are lawyers out there to defend you.
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Authored by Ben Ijeoma Adigwe Esq., ACIarb (UK), LL.M, Dip. in Artificial Intelligence, Director at the Delta State Ministry of Justice, Asaba, Nigeria.
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