‘Trust First Before You Opt For Joint Account With Your Spouse’– Abimbola Akeredolu SAN

What informed your choice of career?

What were the challenges you faced as a young Lawyer? I thoroughly enjoyed the job so I can’t say I had any challenge on the job.  However, I started practising as a married woman with a very young family so, the challenge I faced was having time for my young children and young marriage. There was always constructive tension with spending time with my young family. One thing I tried to do was to do my work very well from Monday to Friday so my Saturdays and Sundays can be purely family time. Though sometimes when I have to be in Court on Monday, I have to prepare during the weekend. Luckily, I have a wonderful husband; he is my greatest supporter and champion. He managed to accommodate me and we were able to overcome that challenge. What advice do you have for young women who are trying to juggle the home front with their careers? My advice for young ladies is; first marry your friend because your friend will always support you. Also, know how to manage your time. You have to be well organised in terms of technical know- how so that what will remain will be how to manage your time logistically. Marriage is another contract, a semi-employment so, you must have an agreement with your husband on your duties in the house and make sure you deliver on them. For instance, if you are the one cooking, you can do your shopping and cooking at the weekend. Cook what they like to eat and put it in the freezer so that they can warm and eat it when you are not around. Also, you must carry your partner along in whatever you are doing. A lot of the time, I think if we women manage our partners well, it won’t be too difficult to get them to support us in the difficult journey. As a legal practitioner and a wife, do you subscribe to the idea of joint account for couples? Incidentally, I am a marriage counsellor in my church, we do premarital counselling and I always advice couples not to start out doing joint account because even the bank that will take your money do what is called Know Your Customer (KYC). As prospective husband and wife, you need to first understand each other financially before you can join your money together, we are all different, one person might be a big spender while the other could be thrifty. There can be a joint account just for the purpose of running the family, both parties will contribute certain amount and it is limited to that purpose alone. After a number of years, when you find out that you have harmonised and synergised and you are able to run a joint account, why not? Trust and understanding must be first established because this joint account issue has caused a lot of problems. I don’t think anybody should force anybody to do it. Not having a joint account does not mean you don’t love your partner. I don’t think we should put too much pressure on a young marriage by adding the issue of joint account. Despite the fact that would-be couples attend premarital counselling, divorce is on the increase. What do you think is the problem? In my church, marriage counselling is mandatory and many of the people we counselled usually come back to thank us for preparing them for the challenges in marriage. Marriage counselling can be called mentoring. Mentoring is a good thing especially in the important areas of your life. The challenge is in finding a right and good mentor. Marriages are collapsing today because people are marrying for the wrong reasons. A lot of people believe that once they are married their problems are over. That is not the case. Marriage is not smooth, it comes with challenges. Success in marriage does not mean lack of hard times; it means successfully overcoming the hard times. A lot of people need to sit down and reassess why they got married. Marriage is a good thing but we must be ready to deploy the necessary resources to make it work. What is the most defining moment of your career so far? The day I received a phone call that they were looking for an Attorney General for Ogun State and my name came up. I was recommended by about two, three people to the governor. For me, that was a defining moment. I was not a politician, I didn’t know the governor or the secretary to the state government. They just needed a good hand and I was recommended. That my name came up at all, I thanked God because it showed that my hard work over the years was recognised. What crowned it most for me was when I was appointed as the Attorney General. It confirmed to me that you can’t go wrong with hard work. Some people said I was lucky, luck to me, is hard work plus opportunity, plus the God factor. What was the experience like? My experience as Attorney General of Ogun State was wonderful. Every day on that job, I realised that over the years, God had been preparing me for that position so there was no challenge that came my way that I was not able to handle; even dealing with the politicians. I had a great relationship with the politicians. Having had that experience, would you consider going into politics? My experience in Ogun State was about service. I served and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I don’t think going into politics in Nigeria today is about service. Will a man who honestly want, to serve shell out millions?  I have my doubts. I honestly don’t want to seek for elective office in Nigeria because I don’t have millions to shell neither am I ready to go under the umbrella of any godfather because the desire to serve will conflict with one’s indebtedness to him. I prefer to be appointed to office for the specific purpose that my skills are required.  We have been talking about gender equality for quite some time now. Do you think we will ever achieve it in Nigeria? The journey of a thousand years starts with a single step. It will take a while for us to get there but if we want to get there faster, then, women need to up their game. The women who have upped their games are not plenty enough. Many of us feel that it should be handed to us on a plate, it won’t.  We need to work for it. What advice to young women? You can be whatever you want to be, you just need to work hard at it. There is nothing good that comes without effort. I don’t think the female gender is the weaker sex; we have an inner and sustained strength which men don’t have and that is why no man can carry a pregnancy. Those who call us weaker sex say that to their own detriment and to make themselves feel better. That capacity to work hard is in every woman, she just needs to deploy it. Culled from tribune]]>