Mutuality Or Equality?

By Abubakar D. Sani, Esq

Today’s launching of ‘Violated’;

The latest offering from our Oliver Eze;

Calls to mind the sad events of the past year;

When we all faced a real existential threat.




An emergency – nay, a pandemic;

The like of which we had rarely seen;

Covid-19 – call it whatever;

It’s name was, frankly, irrelevant




But, its impact was – well, devastating

Lives, livelihoods, whole economies

At every possible level;

Personal, family – none was immune.




The former – that is, personal;

Is the setting for Oliver’s novella;

A tender young girl – barely a woman;

Had her innocence brutally ripped from her –




In the most traumatic of circumstances

By one of her kind – who else?

A man, of course – but in reality?

An agent of Satan, from the pit of hell




An opportunist of the worst kind;

He picked his quarry and bidded his time;

A pandemic-induced lockdown;

When very few would be around




Unfortunately, the damage he wrought;

Merely went to cement and reinforce;

Stereotypes built up over the years;

About the predatory instincts of men




In its different manifestations:

Sexual assault, rape, sexual harassment;

It is odious, and justly condemned;

By all men, in all cultures and by law




Africa – nay, Nigeria - is no exception;

Our statutes and native laws and customs;

The Violence Against Persons Law;

The Child Rights Act – the lot




And, yet, the practice persists

Everywhere, in every place

In offices, homes, schools and universities

In the latter, it is known as ‘sex-for-grades’




Notwithstanding the myriad solutions;

Deployed as part of the curative tool-box:

A Sex Offenders Register;

Imprisonment, loss of income, stigma




So, what needs be done, differently?

Can sociology make a difference –

Given that rape and sexual harassment –

Are but manifestations of abuse and sexism?




Propounded by academics and scholars -

They remain as relevant as ever;

In the context of gender equality;

And it’s opposite – toxic masculinity




The latter is directly implicated;

As a causative factor;

For the sort of behaviour;

Depicted in Oliver’s ‘Violated’ -




And, in the U.S., for mass shootings -

The election of Donald Trump and online trolling;

Elsewhere, it is blamed for murder;

Brexit, climate change and even #EndSARS




However,  to get our bearings right;

We truly need to appreciate the phrase;

To Terry Kupers (2005)*:

“It is a constellation of socially-regressive male traits – 

 

That serve to foster domination, wanton violence;

Homophobia and the devaluation of women”;

Leading some to posit that detoxifying masculinity;

Is essential for achieving gender equality




In other words, beyond pontifications and preachments;

What needs to change is the mind-set;

That women are inferior to men;

As that belief – to male predators – is like fuel




No, women are not inferior to men;

Because, the supposed evidence to that effect;

Is either simply non-existent;

Or, inconclusive – more or less




On the contrary, women have matched;

Men in virtually all endeavors –

Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths;

They’ve led (and still lead) from the front



So, perhaps, we ought to change tactics;

Discard or de-emphasise policy-making;

Move from precepts to praxis;

And, promote ‘mutuality’, not just ‘dry’ equality




Yes, men and women are equal;

Everyone knows that – it is the law;

But, what about practice?

That has been the sticking point, hasn’t it?




In all things, at all times;

In every place, in every clime;

That girl or woman;

That boy or man




The would-be target;

Of your basest sentiments;

Simply on account of his or her sex;

Or, gender - in every sense




Could be you – the man or woman in the mirror;

Imagine being in his or her shoes;

How would you like to be taken for a fool?

Would you rather be victimized than honored?



A new line of advocacy, then -

Ladies and gentlemen -

We are all connected;

Albeit, not by blood nor by kindred




So, when next you feel like expressing yourself;

At the expense of someone else;

Simply on the basis of his or her gender or sex;

Just ask yourself: “would I like to be so treated myself”?

Abubakar D. Sani, Esq., Kano – Nigeria

* Kupers, T. A. (2005) Toxic Masculinity as a Barrier to Mental Health Treatment in Prison. Journal of Clinical Psychology, Vol. 6(6), 713-724 (2005). (www.interscience.wiley.com). Accessed on 25th July, 2021

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