Customary Marriages In Nigeria (2)

By Dave Ajetomobi

It is pertinent to state at this point that most people in the elite class usually conduct traditional marriage rites before rounding up with the marriage under the Act or ‘English wedding’ by signing of the marriage register at a church or at a marriage registry. However, once the marriage involves signing of marriage register, notwithstanding the fact that traditional rites have been performed, such marriage is considered as a marriage under the Act. In the event of divorce, only the High Court has jurisdiction, not the Customary Court.

The English wedding is presumed to have superseded the traditional marriage, though both are recognised as valid marriages by the laws of the land.

English marriage is not superior to a traditional marriage. Traditional marriage was in existence before the advent of the colonisers, it is an essential part of African tradition.

Due to modernity, some people will just cohabit and give birth to children and may be seen as a couple by people, but under tradition, there is no marriage. In certain parts of Nigeria, if it happens that the woman should die in the course of cohabitation, she cannot be buried until marriage rites are performed. That is the man must formally marry the dead woman before the man will be allowed to bury her.

Also in certain parts of Nigeria, when a woman gives birth and no one has claimed paternity of the child, another person can pay dowry and become the adopted father of the child. This is common where a man desires a male child and the single mother of a male child has been denied by the biological father of the child.

Another form of traditional marriage is a situation where a widow marries the brother of the deceased husband. In Yoruba culture, it is called “su l’opo”. That is the widow is given to the close relation of her deceased husband as wife. The subsequent fruit of marriage belongs to the new husband.

In another scenario, the widow is given to the brother of the deceased husband to raise children on behalf of his late brother. Any child born out of such marriage belongs to the deceased.

Another form of traditional marriage in Nigeria is a situation where a woman will marry a younger woman and give her to her husband to impregnate. The fruit of such relationship belongs to woman who is considered as the “husband” of the younger woman.

This scenario is not peculiar to Nigeria. A glance at the Holy Bible particularly in Genesis where Sarah give her maid to Abraham through whom Ishmael was given birth to as the son of Abraham through Hagar. It also happened in the case of Jacob in his marriage to two sisters, Leah and Rebecca. When the wives initially could not conceive, they gave their maids to Jacob and they gave birth to some of the children that later became the 12 tribes of Israel. These children were not referred to as the children of the maids but that of the wives through the maids.

There is another situation where a woman is considered a strong woman and not expected to be under a man. Such woman would marry other women and become the husband, though the task of impregnating the women is assigned to a man possibly the woman’s male sibling and the offspring are considered as the children of the strong woman and her wife.

The Igbo people have a culture that permits such marriages in the olden days. It will be a great misconception to consider that type of marriage as same sex marriage that is now popular with the Western world. Not at all! Far from it!

In this kind of marriage, a widow who has past menopause goes ahead to marry a younger woman of reproductive age, so that she could bear sons to continue the lineage of her late husband. The older woman informs the “umunna” (kinfolk) about her decision to marry a younger woman.

The umunna, knowing that this is a great sacrifice, supports her and accompanies her to ask for the maiden’s hand in marriage. She pays the bride price and automatically becomes the husband of the young maiden.

In most cases, such widows prefer to marry a woman who has given birth to children outside wedlock (especially sons), because in Igbo land, only bride price validates fatherhood. The aged widow, after marrying her wife is given a special honour and place amongst the men.

In some parts of Igbo land, such women are forbidden from having affairs; they must live the rest of their lives without feeling the warmth of a man.

It is also important to note that the marriage between these women is non-s3xual marriage and homosexuality is an abomination in Igbo land.

The younger maiden goes about meeting men and whatever child she bears is considered the legitimate child of the widow’s husband and he or she bears the late husband’s name.

This culture has helped in preserving and ensuring the continuity of different lineages.

It is not certain if this practice is still in existence in the East.